You’d say, “I’m sorry, believe me 
I love you…but not in that way”



this song gets to me 

(via emilylikesbobuur)


holy shit

(Source: jaesama, via karmasshadowknight)




(via karmasshadowknight)

Day 22: Wednesday July 16, 2014

I woke up at 1. Either I wake up late or I wake up early. There is no in-between anymore, sigh. Then I ate some lunch since it was already 1 (can’t call it brunch or linner or any related words).

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Here - Murs


Saigo no kisu wa tabako no flavor ga shita
Nigakute setsunai kaori

Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Anata wa doko ni irundarou
Dare wo omotterundarou

You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka darekato mata koi ni ochitemo
I’ll remember to love you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashi uta utaeru made

Tachidomaru jikan ga
Ugoki dasouto shiteru
Wasureta kunai kotobakari

Ashita no imagoro niwa
Watashi wa kitto naiteru
Anatawo omotterundarou

You will always be inside my heart
Itsumo anata dake no basho ga aru kara
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made

You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka darekato mata koi ni ochitemo
I’ll remember to love you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Mada kanashii love song
Now and forever

Day 21: Tuesday July 15, 2014

Wow, the day started off pretty good and then went sour-ish.

I woke up at 8 and realized I was going to be late. So I rushed and ran for the bus. It didn’t arrive until around 8:30 so it was pointless to run but I did get a seat on the bus. I helped Auntie Petra with her filing which was not that bad since I got the hang of it. This grandma had two binders of bank statements where I had to help her organize it. It took me about a solid hour to fix, hole punch, and organize everything. Then I finished the 7th, 8th, and 9th floor folders for the health papers for those floors. For some reason I got a little winded at 11ish (obv ‘cause I was working nonstop for 2 hours but at the time I didn’t realize that). I ate some jello one of the grannies gave us. It was good because I was hungry. We left at 12 when I finished the last folder. I ate lunch by myself and browsed through instagram and facebook. Then I went to Mom and sat in her small open office. We talked and she showed me some stuff and I helped her with some stuff and I fell asleep and then helped her again. I got to drink a small box of orange juice and ate a yummy haagen-daz chocolate covered almond bar. I left to take the 27.

Sigh the rest of the day is not something I’m proud of.

But when I got home, I took a shower, ate a banana, played Another Case Solved. And felt better. Later after dinner (which was Costco chicken and mapo tofu, sooo good), I jammed out to throwback songs on tumblr. Ah, singing helps the soul.

To top it off, I purposefully saved TLOK episodes 4 and 5 for whenever I felt bad. And ta-dah! Wow, it felt sooooo good watching those two episodes. 

*whispers* makorra wherefore your kissing scene u have one every season

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Day 139. A song that sums up your outlook on life:

The Climb - Miley Cyrus

(via selenicsoulmates)

Day 20: Monday July 14, 2014

I woke up at 12. Didn’t do much since the program started at 3.

I left the house around 2:20 and then took the 9. It was very crowded. I got off and when I saw the view of Sutro Tower, I was in awe (again) since it was the second time I went to SoEx. After I was in awe, I realized I had seen the view already hahah. It might take me awhile to get used to this view. I wasn’t sure what or who to expect. And I guess that’s the beauty of the unknown, feeling that gut-wrenching tightness in your stomach of the unexpected. The silly moment of the day was when I wrote on the wrong thing. I was supposed to write on the bright orange sticker but I wrote on the wax paper that held the sticker. So embarrassing. I could tell I still wasn’t focused nor awake. I went into the room and sat down and listened to the teachers talk. Awkward tension but a good type of uncomfortable, if there is such a thing. Then we went to this group circle once everyone in the video group was there and we finished talking. The theme was “We’re Taking Over The City.” We as in Youth. We had an ice breaker with names. Then we did a card activity about creating change in the city. I forgot what happened next but we went back inside and did another activity by using two phrases. We had to fill in the phrases with art as our answers, like words or sculptures. At the end we took a group photo after a group discussion.

Honestly I could have done totally better than I had done. I was off today. Probably because I woke up in the afternoon and wasn’t on my best game. Well the good thing was that I didn’t fall asleep on the bus. The bad thing was that the bus smelled like weed throughout the bus ride. My head hurt a lot and I felt that at any minute I could explode. I got off as soon as possible and took the 44 home. Then I stopped by Fresh and Easy and went home.

Day 19: Sunday July 13, 2014

Woke up, took a shower, then ate lunch at home. Mom wouldn’t let me drive on the freeway. Went to CVS then Costco (and ate some samples). I browsed through the book section (heaven but they didn’t have a lot of books that I liked). Then we went to T-Mobile but they said the plan didn’t work so I was really disappointed and sad. 

When I got home, I tried to get ready for Johnson’s thing, which at the time, I still wasn’t sure what we were going to do. David asked me how I was getting there and offered a ride and I accepted. Went to his house. Chatted awkwardly with his mom. Yifan came. Then we left. Got to Roy’s. Waited for Johnson. He arrived. The place was really fancy-schmancy. We got seated when he arrived. Then we looked at the menu and wowz. Like, expensive. His brother told him what to order and we did. I got the braised ribs and usdjnfjn soooooo freaking good. Like I think this will be the only time in my high school career (haven’t entered college yet so I’m technically in between high school) that I will have eaten something that fancy omfg. Then we talked and shared food and wow it was a perfect evening. Then to top it off, we ate dessert and had lava cake and pineapple upside down cake and we shared it and talked and laughed. I felt really happy. I was really happy. We gossiped after we ate and listened to Yifan tell stories about the drama that happened at David’s BBQ surprise party. We begged Johnson to ask his bro to drive us to Twin Peaks but he was unsure since his other bro was coming to pick him up. But David asked his mum to come and drive us and we went up Twin Peaks. And wow it was beautiful. The view and colors and lights and wow. The wind sucked because I was freezing cold. But it was beautiful! I wish I could go up there again. So freaking pretty. After a mini photo-shoot, we left to go home.

Perfect evening with good company.

Note: (I’m tired, so lack of quality description)

Day 18: Saturday July 12, 2014

Mom and I went to Foods Co. Li Juan called and asked me where I was. Told her I was headed to Foods Co. She asked if I could buy forks, spoons, bowls, plates, cups, and napkins for the party. I also asked mom to buy some potato salad. I took the bus all the way to the park. Not many people were there yet. Dylan manned the grill. Everyone was just chatting. I arrived there around 1. Then we waited for more people to arrive. Some left, some came. Another party came and tried to involve the park rangers there. It was quickly solved though. The larger church party kindly shared their grill and supplies with us (even though I didn’t do much of the cooking and whatnot). Later, I brought out my camera and some people took photos with it. I ate some food, chatted, sat around. I was bored but it was fine. The birthday boy took awhile to arrive. Took more photos. I don’t exactly remember much of what happened. It was slow but entertaining. The exciting part was where David got caked. He couldn’t see because someone took his glasses. With the chocolate cake on him, he looked like he fell in a pile of mud! Cue the chasing and running around. I was laughing and smiling through that. Afterward, they started wrestling. Took more photos. More wrestling. Cleaned up. I went home. I enjoyed that day though. Wish I could have remembered more of the details of that day. It’s already beginning to ebb away in my memory. Most of the photos are up on FB already though so I guess I could remember it that way, I suppose…

Day 17: Friday July 11, 2014

I woke up at 1 today for the first time in a week, I believe. I didn’t really do much. I transferred quotes I saved from books into my notes section of my ipod. Then I finished reading Every Day. And wow, it was awesome. Then I tried finishing some Chem stuff but I found out that it’s not due till Monday so whew! And that was pretty much my day. Nothing eventful. Just chilling around, much needed, haha.


Day 16: Thursday July 10, 2014

I woke up at 8. Then I watched some TV because I didn’t think the instructor would come until 9. But around 8:40 I looked out the window and he was there. Plus he called me at 8:25 but I didn’t hear my cell phone ring.

Left the house and started driving. Drove around from 9-11. Drove in, out, and around the DMV. Then at 11, we went to pick up his other student who was also going to be taking the DMV exam on Thursday. They dropped me off at McDonalds. There were elderly men and women and a child sitting upstairs and talking. I even took a short nap. I spent 2 hours sitting there, waiting. I went on Instagram and Snapchat and tried opening Safari but it kept crashing, sigh. I eventually bought a buffalo ranch McChicken for lunch. I left Mickey D’s around 12:30 and walked to the Korean food market. I browsed around, just looking at stuff but I got pretty bored. I was going to buy some banana milk but I wanted to save money. So I left and walked around the neighborhood. I passed by a car place where mechanics were fixing cars and cleaning cars. I got scared and walked into a small plaza with a market. I browsed around there, making it look like I was looking to buy something but everything there was overpriced. I left and walked back toward McD’s. I thought about going to the DMV but I was afraid of the instructor and his student seeing me walking out in the day with no one by my side so I walked back to McD’s. I waited there for another hour, sitting on this ledge with a window slightly protruding from the fast food restaurant’s dining room and ordering area. He finally came around 2:30 saving me from boredom because my ipod’s battery died on me.

At the DMV, we waited for another hour because the car line was pretty long. I eventually fell asleep in the car because it was hot and comfortable sitting in the car. Sleeping made me less nervous now that I think back to it. But when the tester came, I became nervous. He was pretty nice about the entire interaction, though. I kept thinking, oh, he must be tired of this by now. He looked tired and irritated. We took the 2nd route the instructor showed me before. When he told me to stop and pull over to reverse, I did but he kept telling me to make the car straight, and I kept thinking in my head that the car was straight, so I just reversed and kept the wheel at 90 degrees. He was so frustrated by me and said what did I not understand about it. Later he said make the wheels straight but I swear he said make the car straight. I was not able to comprehend what he meant by that. But luckily, he did not dock points off for that, whew. I didn’t want to argue with my tester and make him mad enough to mark me off or anything. He could have said, now reverse and that would have made me fix the wheel. By the end of it, I almost hit some pedestrians, I looked around for too long, I didn’t scan around enough, and I was too cautious. But I passed. I passed! I was so happy, despite that one moment of confusion. 

The instructor drove me home. I was really tired. And it’s sad that they’re going to use my photo from my permit. I was 17 when that photo was taken. Sigh, wish I could retake it.

TLDR; I spend most of the entire day driving and finally took my driving test.


M83 - Reunion

(via selenicsoulmates)



This is the best thing i’ve ever heard

My Chemical Romance - Welcome to the Black Parade - 0:00
Green Day - Good Riddance - 0:12
Panic! at the Disco - I Write Sins Not Tragedies - 0:24
blink-182 - What’s My Age Again? - 0:34
Jimmy Eat World - The Middle - 0:46
We The Kings - Check Yes Juliet - 0:46
Third Eye Blind - Graduate - 0:56
All Time Low - Weightless - 0:58
All Time Low - Dear Maria Count Me In - 1:07
Switchfoot - Meant to Live - 1:18
Fall Out Boy - Sugar We’re Going Down - 1:07
My Chemical Romance - I’m Not Okay (I Promise) - 1:29
Boys Like Girls - Thunder - 1:40
30 Seconds to Mars - Kings and Queens - 1:50
Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue - 1:59
Relient K - Be My Escape - 2:00
Relient K - Sadie Hawkins Dance - 2:03
Simple Plan - I’d Do Anything - 2:14
Paramore - Misery Business - 2:15
Rise Against - Savior - 2:25
Sum 41 - Fat Lip - 2:33
My Chemical Romance - Teenagers - 2:34
Fountains of Wayne - Stacy’s Mom - 2:43
All American Rejects - Gives You Hell - 2:51
blink-182 - Feeling This - 2:53
Lit - My Own Worst Enemy - 3:08
Sum 41 - In Too Deep - 3:09
The Cab - One of THOSE Nights - 3:37
Relient K - High of 75 - 3:37
blink-182 - I Miss You - 3:37
Paramore - That’s What You Get - 3:48
AFI - Miss Murder - 4:03
Good Charlotte - Dance Floor Anthem - 4:04
Cute Is What We Aim For - Curse of Curves - 4:18
30 Seconds to Mars - Closer to the Edge - 4:30
A Day to Remember - All I Want - 4:45
Mayday Parade - Jamie All Over - 4:57
Fall Out Boy - Thnks Fr Th Mmrs - 4:57
Cartel - Say Anything (Else) - 5:22
Taking Back Sunday - MakeDamnSure - 5:37
Rise Against - Audience of One - 5:47
Fall Out Boy - Sugar We’re Going Down - 5:48

(via sammiewichh)